Heart Spill::-- Not Yet!!

The time is just passing by, doing nothing. Whereas, have so much in head to achieve and do. The time just not seems right. It is so strange, when you want something but on the same time you don't want to get involved into it.
Feeling these days, just the same. Life is moving at it's pase, I am happy but still feel empty inside like something is missing. Well, have not figured out what is missing. Having mood swings like crazy, one second I am in good mood-feeling crazy kid; on the other hand, feeling low-just want to go somewhere alone and spend sometime reflecting back. That's why this blog is not about anything, it's just a page I am filling in with the thoughts my mind is occupied with.

I just had an amazing weekend with my sweetheart friends, but today again I am missing something. How to figure what is missing? And why I am feeling such. Maybe somewhere inside, I know what am I missing but unfortunately I know I can't have it so I just don't want to face it right now. I am the same person who believes that the more you face your problems or fears- you overcome them. But maybe today I am not ready for it. Things are changing, when I don't want them too. I want to jot down everything here but then again something is stopping me to write it down- will try to write some of it.

Since last few months have been like a roller coaster with everything happening at once.Well I don't know from where to start from. 
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And due to that I was not able to finish my blog the day I started, after a month I am sitting again to write everything down.
I thought as things are fine now I won't agree to the things I have written above but I am wrong, I still agree and feel the same but not all of it. I guess I have got answers for some of them. 

Got a new job, new place, nothing is missing right now, everything is going fine. So there isn't missing anything as such but still something is not right and I don't know with whom to share and how to share. I know what are the things that are bothering me but I am scared to talk about it, maybe because I know it doesn't matter to the person it is associated with. And giving up on even trying to talk it out is making me feel unstable. I am happy but I am not. 

I though when you are honest and transparent with the things you feel or do, everything and every relationship is easy to handle. But what if, in spite of all that the people who matters you the most don't care on the things that bother you. Why is it so hard to give in? Or am I really asking too much. Everything else is perfect in my life, just few thoughts or feelings which I have, no one seems to understand it. And maybe that is why I have stopped saying anything. Instead, I have started talking to myself whenever I am alone.
Hope there's nothing wrong with that, but I still don't get some answers and it is there all the time in my head.
I feel like going out of the city alone, not meeting anyone, not being with anyone. I bet no one can guess this is all I am feeling, I guess that's what life does to you that even the closest person to you don't know how much and what things are actually bother you this much. 
Well this is it for this blog, rest will be writing in a new blog as this won't associate with the current blog.

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